Chapter Three
Missing Mushrooms
It was a glorious morning for picking mushrooms, and today George and Eric were particularly looking forward to breakfast because yesterday they had bought an absolutely enormous flitch of Farmer Jasper's best Oak smoked bacon at the market, so without further ado, Eric climbed onto the brim of George's hat and of they went.
As they walked along George began to hum, he liked humming, he especially liked humming when he was looking forward to bacon and mushrooms for breakfast, Eric liked it when George hummed because it meant he couldn't hear his tummy rumbling, however as they turned into the big field at the bottom of the woods, George stopped humming, Eric forgot all about his tummy rumblings, they both just stared and stared.
"Do you know what" said Eric, "Do you know what, somebody's pinched our mushrooms"
"Mmmmm" said George, "Mmmmm, not only have they pinched our mushrooms Eric, they've stamped all over and peed on the ones they didn't pinch, I'm not very happy about this Eric, not happy at all"
So with a ever rumbling tummy and an empty basket they turned around and made their way home for breakfast without any mushrooms.
"I wonder who could have done such a thing" said Eric as he munched on a piece of bacon, "everybody knows that we pick our mushrooms from the big field at the bottom of the woods"
"Well" said George, "I'm going to find out"
For the rest of that day George and Eric knocked on the doors of all the people they knew that lived around the big wood, Farmer Jasper's wife was very sorry to here about their missing mushrooms and she kindly said that she'd gladly share the mushrooms growing in their field near the pond with George and Eric if they liked. George and Eric thanked Farmer Jasper's wife for such a kind offer but said no thank you, but it wouldn't be the same as eating the mushrooms from the big field as they were just how they liked them.
By the time they got home they were tired, hungry and just a bit cross but none the wiser about who had pinched their mushrooms.
As they sat and ate supper they decided to go to the big field early the next morning to see if who ever had stolen their mushrooms came back for more. So it was a very sleepy George and Eric who woke up before the sun rose the next morning, put on thick coats, big boots & woolly gloves and hats and went out into the chilly lane at the bottom of George's garden.
Ever so quietly George crept along the lane behind the hedge with Eric sat in George's top pocket peering into the darkness, eventually they reached the gate into the big field but instead of going through the gate they carried on until they reached the woods and hid behind the bramble hedge that grew between the woods and the big field.
George, who couldn't see very well in the dark, hunkered down to wait whilst Eric who could see wonderfully well at night peered through the brambles waiting to who the thief was.
As George quietly snoozed Eric watched intently, just as the sun was rising over the woods he was about to wake George thinking nobody was coming to steal mushrooms today, but then he saw something move at the edge of the field.
"Well, shove my head down a rabbit hole" whispered Eric, "its a bloomin' fox peeing on our lovely mushrooms"
Waking George, they both looked on as first the fox ate its fill of this mornings freshest fungus & then in horror as it peed over those it didn't want. In a flurry of bramble bush George hollared out loud, leapt into the air and set off across the field with Eric holding on to his jacket for dear life. The fox, with a huge smirk on its face sat down until George was almost upon him, then up it jumped and was away and into the woods before George could draw breath.
"George, George" shouted Eric "George, please stop jumping about George, me heads got stuck in your pocket"
After George had calmed down they collected what few mushrooms were fit to be used and set off back home. Later as George mopped up the last of his fried mushrooms he sat back and spoke,
"Eric, that fox has got to go, I don't mind sharin' as you well know, but that blasted fox is taken liberties and that I wont be havin', its curtains for Mr Fox if I gets my way, bloomin' curtains"
All that day George banged, bent and generally fiddled with bits of wire, an old biscuit tin, an old fur hat and the batteries from the radio, Eric watched, mystified as to what on earth George was making, however by the time it was time for tea it was finished, George sat back and smiled, Eric mouth open wide burst into laughter,
"Now that should give Mr Fox something to think about, you see if it don't."
Next morning George and Eric were up before the sun and well hidden behind the hedge at the edge of the big field long before the fox returned to their mushroom patch. As the the fox poked his head out of the woods he froze, sat in the middle of the mushrooms was a fat juicy rabbit,
"Stuff the mushrooms mused the fox, its fresh Coney for breakfast, still no harm in peeing on the mushrooms after I've got bunnykins"
With considerable cunning the fox slunk forward, his belly hugging the ground, in a burst of speed he shot forward and grabbed the rabbit in his slavering jaws, instantly however he squealed in pain, jumped high into the air, landed on his feet & with a howl sped of across the field and was never ever seen near the big wood again.
Behind the hedge Eric and George howled with laughter and began to roll up the wire which lead under the hedge to the fur covered metal rabbit now lying amongst the mushrooms,
"that was stunning George, simply electrifying" chortled Eric
"Well" said George "I don't think that fox thought it very funny, still never mind, lets pick those mushrooms and go home Eric, I think I've earned us breakfast this morning, don't you"